News until You Puke

I listen to way too much news. I feel if I don’t, I’ll miss the Second Coming, spreading Tsunami, in coming meteor, rising melt water from glaciers, a solar flare that might fry me, alien invasion or next terror attack that has been promised for the past four years. Since I don’t want to miss these things, I listen to way too much news.

Beause I listen to way too much news, I know way too much about beheadings and bullet riddled bodies. I know way too much about car bombs and body parts lying around. A few days ago they found a few dozen heads in boxes in Iraq. This is no way to get ahead in war. I wish I didn’t know about that, but I do. It makes me wonder where the rest of them went. I only know this stuff because I watch and listen to way too much news.

I know too many darn opinions about way too much stuff. I used to listen to Limbaugh, but I don’t think he believes himself sometimes and O’Reilly is just way too angry, smart assed and repressed for my taste, but I know about these guys, because I listen to way too much news. I did hear a few things…in the news about their personal lives, and that was pretty cool to know they aren’t as righteous as they would have me believe. I learned that on the news. I listen to way too much you know. I listen to Air America. Now that’s a pretty newsy bunch if ever there was one. I like them. They scare the hell out of me, but I like them. They say everything about government and this administration that all the other news I read about them makes me think. They make me feel that the thoughts I have about about all the other news I read about is at least normal. At least I don’t feel so alone in my reaction to all the news I read way too much of.

I know way too much about Politicians, especially Republican ones that love Jesus so much, some of them seem to love making war more and more so he can return or something it seems. They make love too, but seem too often get caught doing it with the wrong people and even the wrong sex. Yikes, but honest, I read it in the news. I read Mrs. Bush moved out of the Whitehouse recently because Mr. President was goofin around with…well, others. Wow, that’s pretty darn big news. Didn’t see it on Fox or AOL though, so maybe it’s not news, or maybe it is but not news for the masses, who knows? Some news tells me I won’t see this news on the news because they won’t make it news, so I guess we lose. Gosh, the news even tells me that this President might not even be the real President and that so many people had their vote thrown out, OK Democratic voters did. Now that would be depressing, but seems true to me. I hear it is true, from the news, twice!